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The marriage custom in ancient Jewish culture was very different from ours today. It involved two stages. The first was betrothal. The second, after a time, was the wedding feast, at which point the couple began living together. Betrothal was much stronger than our notion of engagement today. Engagement for us is just a promise or statement of intention regarding marriage in the future. A betrothal, on the other hand, is when the marriage vows were made. That is, the marriage was ratified; the couple was legally wed. But they wouldn’t begin living together until that second moment, the wedding feast. That was the time of big celebration, usually a week long, and it would feature the procession of the bride to the bridegroom’s home, which would be the home of the newly married couple.

Why the time in between? It was for the bridegroom to prepare the home for him and his bride to live in. Often, this meant that after the betrothal, he would go to his father’s house, inherit his portion of the land, and build a home for his new bride there.

Knowing this two-stage marriage custom helps us understand the context of certain parts of the Gospel, such as the wedding feast of Cana, or what is going on in the early chapters of Matthew and Luke when it says that Mary and Joseph were betrothed but not yet living together. This background also helps us understand today’s Gospel. Jesus says to his disciples, “In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.”

We may not realize it, but this is nuptial language. Jesus is deliberately revealing that he is the Bridegroom. He is the one who goes to his Father’s house to prepare a place for his bride. And that bride is the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church.

The Last Supper was the original context of Jesus’ words in this passage. “Do not let your hearts be troubled,” he said, to comfort his disciples. Although he would soon depart from them (that very evening was his arrest, and the next day his crucifixion and death), he wanted to reassure them that his departure would only be temporary and that it had a purpose. He wanted them to understand his crucifixion in terms of nuptial love, that he was laying down his life for his bride.

Holy Mother Church gives us this Gospel passage today, though, in a very different context. We are five weeks into the Easter season. The Lord’s crucifixion has taken place, and we are celebrating his Resurrection with joy. In this context, Jesus is preparing us for a different departure. Christ’s Ascension, which we will be celebrating soon, is when he goes to his Father’s house to prepare a place for his bride.

The marriage vows have already been made. The marriage covenant has already been established — the new and eternal covenant in his blood. That happened on the cross. He has already wed himself to his bride, the church. The crucifixion was the betrothal, and at the Ascension, he goes to prepare a place for his bride in his father’s house. After Our Lord’s Ascension, we live in this in-between time as we await the wedding feast. Though he will soon be departing, he comforts us with the words, “I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.”

Even as we long for the heavenly wedding feast, our Bridegroom sustains us with his flesh in the Most Holy Eucharist, a foretaste of that heavenly wedding feast. Though he departs when he ascends to his father’s right hand, he remains with us along the way because he is the way. To Thomas, anxious at Jesus’ imminent departure, he says, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” With every devout reception of Holy Communion, let us long ever more for that heavenly banquet and live our lives more in accord with the Lord’s holy will.