Matthew 10:37-42
Priorities
by Rev. Richard A. Miserendino
Reprinted by Permission of "The Arlington Catholic Herald"

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Matthew wrote to show that Christ was the
Messiah and fulfilled the Jewish prophecies.

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

"Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.  Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and whoever receives a righteous man because he is righteous will receive a righteous man's reward.  And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because he is a disciple - amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward."

Our Gospel reading for this Sunday is challenging, especially for those of us blessed with strong family ties.  Often, the first love we really knew was that of our mom and dad.  Yet, here is Jesus asking us to love him even more than family.  That's a hard saying.  As a good Italian, I know that nothing is more important than family.  Does Jesus beg to differ?  Do I have to hand in my "Italian card" to stay Catholic?  Two truths shed light on our dilemma and guide us here:  The first is that life is a matter of priorities and putting "first things first."  If we don't have our priorities straight, things quickly become unglued.  We've all met dedicated professionals who work themselves to exhaustion for a good cause and end up undermining that good cause in doing so.  It's the teacher who skips lunch to grad papers who ends up "hungry" and snapping at students, the truck driver who didn't get enough sleep who dozes off on the road, and so on.  Only when we order things rightly can we actually thrive and be our best for others. 

Further, this talk of priorities presumes a good goal.  "Family first" sounds like a great goal, but it's also worth asking: What makes a good and healthy family?  The answer is one that puts the highest good first: God.  "Love of God (first) and neighbor (second)."

The second truth is that greater loves make smaller loves possible and nourish them.  This is true for every type of love, from small to great.  It's the grandma who has the greater loves of people and food that makes the best ravioli (a somewhat smaller love).  And it's the eternal love of God that makes all our little loves possible in the first place, creating and sustaining them as a gift.  Greater loves make smaller loves possible.  An example: It's been said that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love his wife well, and vice versa.  Children thrive when they know their parents love each other.  The greater love of the husband and wife make the smaller love of children possible and nourishes it.  Yet, how does a husband best love his wife?  By loving her as God would love her, and with the stronger, deeper love of God himself.

Thus, we should absolutely love God above family, if we ever truly want to love our families in he way they deserve.  Our love of the God who is good should be our highest goal.  It keeps us on the straight-and-narrow.  Guided by the light of that love, we know how to love our families properly.  Likewise, God's love nourishes and shapes us so that we have the strength to love them as well.  We're made to love each other with the eternal love of God.  The only way we can do so is by receiving that love first from God, and that can't happen if we aren't willing to trust him with everything.

What happens when we love God above all things, even family?  Something beautiful:  When we're willing to give all we have to God, to love our life in love, we find it regained and renewed, more fruitful and better than ever before.  On giving even our family over to God, we find that God becomes our father who invite3s us into his larger family, the church.  God becomes that head of our family, and by God's grace we find even the smaller loves of our family nourished and thriving.

In other words, if we' re willing to hand over our "Italian card" (or whatever family-friendly card we're carrying) to God, we'll receive a passport in return, not just to bella Italia but to our true motherland, our heavenly home.  It all starts with simple acts of putting God first, think Mass each Sunday, prayers before bed and especially grace before a delicious (pasta) dinner.